Blessings

I know it has been awhile since I've given you an update on Mason's progress. I wanted to let you know that he has been doing great. He's eating up to 4 jars of baby food a day. :) He is still getting the majority of his nutrients from his feeding tube but we're praising the Lord for his progress. I was reflecting this past month on where we were a year ago. We were in the hospital praying for answers for all of his food complications. Mason was 12 lbs then at 9 months old. Now he is a whopping 23 pounds and heavier than ever. :)

As far as his physical progress that has been an up and down battle. ( I apologize b/c this is somewhat out of order but it won't let me cut and paste) He had improved in his sitting until he realized that if he puts his legs out straight he could stand.(with assistance) We took a backward spiral with the sitting until this past Wednesday. Last Wednesday he and I were playing and he sat for 35 minutes without falling over. The best part was he was able to anchor himself in the middle on his ball. Usually, he puts his hands on either side to keep his balance but this was the first time he was able to keep himself centered. I was jumping and cheering and he just kept looking at me and smiling. I'm sure he was thinking "whatever I'm doing my mommy sure is happy about". I couldn't believe it and I was so excited to show his therapist. Not only did he do that but I held his football out and he was able to reach up and grab it and not fall over. I was on cloud nine on Wednesday to say the least. I was praising the Lord for this huge blessing. We've been waiting so long to see his progress and he did it.

About a month ago, we were having a baby shower at our house for our friends Adam and Lindsey. We had tons of kids and adults running around our house and I loved just watching all of the excitement. Then I would look on the couch and their sat Mason, happy as can be, but not being able to get in on all the action. There was part of my heart that broke b/c I wanted him so badly to feel like he could be part of the fun. Since he has not been sitting Kevin or I have to hold him or be right next to him. If not he can only lay on the ground. With many tiny feet running around this isn't the safest scenario for him. This has been one of our biggest frustrations for his life b/c we want him to have a sense of Independence. I was sharing this with his Aunt Le Le and we began to pray that somehow someway God would show us a way to help him. About a week later, Lisa called me and said we're coming over and we're going and buying Mason a walker.
She remembered that is what they used for Tyler to get around and feel independent. (I have no idea why it took us 18 months to think of this) So we ran to Target and bought Mason a $30.00 walker. The next morning I quickly put it together and put Mason in it. Within a minute he figured out how to push himself backwards and he was off. I just sat there and cried and cried because for the first time my little boy didn't have to sit on the sidelines he was going to be able to be in the game. We had a b'day party that Saturday. We took his walker and he was able to move around and sit with all the other kids at the table. I know this may seem so small but to us this was an amazing miracle from God. Now Mason is able to go to the nursery at church and interact with all his friends. It's these moments that we get on our knees and feel like the luckiest parents in the world.

This past Thursday we went for his routine MRI scan and to meet with his neurosurgeon. (One thing that has been lacking is Mason's speech. He is usually very quiet but babbles some and has perfected "dada". Any doctor that sees him this is a huge concern. I've been praying specifically that God would please allow him to start talking. ) Going in to this appt. I was so excited to share all the great things that he was doing. His brain scan showed that the shunt is working. This is awesome b/c that means no surgery! It also showed that his brain is very malformed. Now, this is not a shock b/c we've known this all along. As Dr. R continued to talk I shared with him what Mason was and was not doing. I asked him what he thought. He said well his progress is good but he is very delayed. Then he used those words that pierce the core of my heart "Mental Retardation". He said it is part of his condition but noone knows how severe it will be. I nodded yes and continued to pretend like I was listening. As I got in the car those words kept playing over in my head. I began my inner battle with the Lord. I wasn't crying but was sick to my stomach. I was frustrated with myself that I let those words seem like poison to me. I told the Lord that Mason is made perfect. So why does this bother me. Just the day before I was on a high praising God for all He has done and the next day my heart is filled with brokeness and worry. Again and Again I have to give Mason back to the Lord. As a mom I want to fix him and make him all better and I can't and it breaks my heart. I worry about his future and how people will treat him and if someone will want to be his friend and on and on. God has to remind me to stop trying to figure it all out and just let go. He has a perfect plan designed for Mason and He will show His glory through his precious life. As I'm driving and having this conversation with the Lord this song came on the radio that I had never heard before. It is called "Blessings" by Laura Story. As I listened, tears rolled down my face b/c it's so true. Our blessings in life come through some of our hardest times. I have put her video below and I encourage you to take the time to watch and listen to it. The chorus says:

"What if your blessings come through raindrops, what if your healing comes through tears, what if a thousand sleepless nights are what it takes to know you're near, what if trials of this life are your mercies in disguise. "

What a reminder of God's goodness. Mason has come so far in one year and I thank God for those gifts. I'm reading a book titled "One Thousand Gifts" by Ann Voskamp. (must read) There she encourages you to write down the gifts God has given you. As a read back over my list I'm amazed to see how much God has blessed me with and I don't deserve any of it. On those days where discouragement tries to rob my joy, I'm reminded of my blessings. I pray you have a blessed week. (P.S. my blog family is one of my treasured gifts, Thank you)