Adoption Story

I’ve started this story over 100 x’s in the past year. I have no idea why it has been so difficult to put the details together.  At times it was the wave of emotions I was feeling at that particular moment.  Most times optimism that God was in the midst of our circumstance.  Today I’m praying I can write this with truth and honesty. Still sitting back and seeing the truths that God has taught us this past year as we’ve traveled down this road of Adoption.  

It was last July that we began our journey, excited about the opportunity to bring a child into our home.  As we met with the first agency, she gave us the picture of adoption in the United States.  I have to say it was an eye opener.  (I want to give you these details b/c many people I’ve learned know little about what adoptive parents go through.) Most adoptions now are semi open. This is where you send pictures and letters to the Birth Parents once a year. Many times the BM wants to see the child again throughout their life.  While the BM(Birth Mom) is pregnant you pay for her expenses.  This can range from doctors appointments, rent, gas, clothes etc.  These expenses are usually anywhere from 4,000 – 10,000 dollars.  If she backs out of the adoption, this is money you potentially lose. These expenses are outside of the 25,000 adoption fees.  As you can imagine, our mouths dropped open b/c this was new information to us.  We went away from that initial meeting just stunned.  I actually went away crying all the way to our GI appt in Ft. Myers.  

In the days following that appointment, I called around to other agencies to confirm that this was the “norm”.  In that search we came across an agency in Tampa.  They had a BM due in December with a biracial girl.  My ears perked up.  They had been looking for a family but had not found one that met the BM specifications.  My heart started pounding.  We set up a time for Kevin and I to come in.  We met with them and we’re excited about this opportunity.  Before our home study was even started, we were matched with her.  I thought to myself this is A LOT easier than what I imagined.  We began meeting with the BM each month.  We went to an ultrasound with her in October and we were able to look at this sweet baby girl.  There were red flags that went up throughout the journey but we were reassured that they were normal.  There were moments throughout the journey that I wanted to back out. Through my times with the Lord, He told us to move forward.  We decorated the nursery and my sweet friends threw me a baby shower.  This girl has enough tutus to last her a lifetime.  As December drew near, I couldn’t wait for our little girl. Nursery was completed, clothes were washed, Christmas dress was purchased .   

Then we received a phone call that would start a heartbreaking week. BM was having second thoughts.  There are many details in that week that were hard to hear and I think we knew God was closing the door.  After the baby was born, we received a picture of her.  She had beautiful brown eyes and curly hair.  Within 48 hours, BM had decided to change her adoption plan.  5 months of waiting and praying were over with a phone call.  As we sat in disbelief, we prayed for this little girl.  We didn’t understand God’s plan and why it turned out the way it did but He does.

Since December, I’ve watched 15 of my sweet friends get pregnant!!!  I‘ve rejoiced with each one of them, but every announcement took a stab at my heart.  I go upstairs everyday and look to my right and see a pink room waiting for a little girl.  I walk in her closet and stare at the clothes still hanging with the tags on them.  I sit in her rocker and ask God if this room will ever be filled with a babies cry.  In these times, I feel God’s presence so close to my heart. I pray that we will never give up. He says in his word “Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt them”.  James 1:27  He wants us to be the father to the fatherless.  We desire that for our family. We have put our names in with several adoption agencies and attorneys. We have had some phone calls about babies but none have come through.  With each scenario, we get our hopes up and think that maybe this is the one.  God has not yet opened the door.  We continue to wait and pray.

With all this said, my challenge for you is to encourage the families you know going through the process of adoption.  As you can see it takes a toll on families emotionally and financially. I feel so blessed to have a wonderful group of people that hold our family close to their hearts.  They have committed to pray for us during this process.  

As you see the pictures below, we eagerly await a baby girl in the crib, a collage of pictures to go with the song and a date to be filled in under her initials.  Until then we “trust in the Lord with all our heart and lean not on our own understanding.  In all our ways acknowledge him and he will direct our paths”. Proverbs 3:5 & 6